4 1/2 Months
I don't know where to begin. I am so grateful to be feeling so well. I can't help but think about how amazing this whole process is, and how blessed I am to be a part of it. I think I felt little one swimming around yesterday. Maybe! Our God is so big, and yet he chooses to allow me to be a part of such an intimate time of creation. Something is growing in me, it's so surreal! I'm half way there!?!?
In case you want to know details, my main symptom is hunger. Praying for self control. I've had a few bloody noses which I've heard is normal, I'll take that any day over vomiting! Honestly, my main symptom is emotion. Lots of emotions. Yes, I'm excited and overjoyed about baby but mostly anxious, scared, and stressed. There is a lot going on, more details later. Most of my stress is because of money, yup you guessed it! Pretty sure that other than the kingdom of heaven, Jesus talked the most about money!! I know the Lord will provide but sometimes my head doesn't talk to my heart. I realize the answer to trusting is spending quality and quantity time in God's word. Trust doesn't just happen. Love doesn't just happen. Hope doesn't just happen. We have to make an effort to grow. By HIS GRACE. It's interesting that I'm dealing with physical hunger because I also feel a deep spiritual hunger. I'm praying that the Lord will continue to draw me closer to Himself. I'm thankful for time in the word but, I just want more of Jesus. I keep asking myself, "when will I let Jesus be all I need?" Desperate for a heart makeover. That's putting it all out there!
I'm grateful for my amazing husband, family, our church family, friends, my wonderful job, work family, our wonderful house, air conditioning, sleep, movies, pets, food, and books this week. I'm hoping that this week I can turn my anxiety into thankfulness and worship. Seriously, when all we think about is "what if" and worry, then we're choosing to focus on ourselves. Not God, not His GLORY, not His WILL, not others who need him, but selfishness. I don't want to miss HIS GLORY. To this, I would say... "help me Rhonda, help, help me Rhonda!" ahahaa
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