My Heart On Photography

Pictures I took last Saturday at Tree Tops Park in Davie, FL.

God gives us all talents and spiritual gifts. He tells us this clearly in His word; 

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace... in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 4:10-11. 

That's just one verse out of many that encourages us to use what gifts and talents we have to the glory of God. It's not about my talent (or lack there of). It's about serving others, sharing the love of God! We are here on this Earth to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind, to be unified  in our love with one another, and to love those who don't know our merciful God of compassion! He has given us so much more than we deserve, I can't help but do what he wants me to do!! Sometimes I will fail miserably but I'd rather fail at what He's told me to do and pick myself up again rather than not obey! He is SO good!

 Lately, the Lord has been changing my heart when it comes to my love and passion for photography. I always enjoyed taking pictures, I think everyone does. However, there came a time about six years ago that I decided to buy my first "real" camera. At that point, I couldn't get enough! I was that annoying friend who wanted to take pictures of everything, all the time. Say cheese! Look over here! Oh, wait I need to go get a picture of that really cool insignificant object! I think I documented just about every event in my life with pictures from that point on. 

Within the past three years, I've had people request that I take their picture for various occasions. Me? I'm not good enough, I don't know enough, what if I fail? What if, what if, what if. I'm tired of what if. Aren't you? To God, my "what ifs" sound like excuses. BIG EXCUSES. God gives us his Holy Spirit, prayer, His love, His guidance, His patience, His strength. More than enough.  I've been praying for the last few weeks about whether God wanted me to start pursuing photography as a business and he has opened my eyes to my selfishness. If God gave me a talent then he doesn't want me to keep it all to myself, to be irresponsible with it, or to doubt that He can use it. Moses, anyone? Moses doubted that God could use him and we all know how God proved him wrong! God can do ANYTHING. He wants us to empty ourselves of our entitlements and to surrender everything we have to him. Thank you Lord, for showing me this!

For me, surrendering my lack of knowledge of photography meant taking responsibility for developing this passion into a profession of some sort. I learned this lesson the hard way with music and I don't want to miss God's voice this time! I journeyed off to MTSU and started out my college career as a Mass Communications major. Really? What was I thinking? Shortly after I was scared out of my mind by one of the meanest and most insincere professors, I fell in love with the Vocal Performance program and Communication Studies/Public Speaking department. God reminded me that my passions were public speaking specifically for women's ministry, and... MUSIC. I was so scared that I wouldn't be good enough, that I wouldn't learn fast enough, that I wouldn't have enough self discipline. God brought me to a very special voice teacher named Dr. Jamila McWhirter whom I will never forget. She practically made me join the music program! Every voice lesson followed with a, "so are you going to audition?" I praise God for her encouragement! I also ended up taking private lessons from another Godly woman named Mrs. Alice Celements who had been instructed by the same voice teacher I had in high school. What are the chances? With God, very high! God has always put the most amazing people in my path who were there to confirm what His voice told me to do. 

I want to become a student of this passion I have for photography. Just as I long to be a more diligent student of God's word! I feel a strong conviction to stay home with our precious baby Jude, and I may have the opportunity to watch two other children in the new year! However, I wasn't sure if God was going to allow me to have these desires. After all, we could use the extra money from a "real 9-5 job," whatever that is. 

God tested me. James 1:3 reminds us that the testing of our faith produces perseverance. After a long discussion with Blake, we decided that I needed to apply for a few jobs and see what happened. I applied for exactly one on creepy Craigslist thinking that surely, nothing would come from it. I knew that I felt a deep conviction to stay home but at the time, I wanted to honor my husband and just apply. It's all in God's hands anyway! I got a phone call last Tuesday and had an interview on Wednesday for a dental receptionist job. WHAT?! HOW? REALLY, GOD? I have a lot of experience as a receptionist so why not? I tried to keep an open mind although secretly, I was hoping that it wouldn't work out. Overall, I wanted so desperately for God to show me. For Him to make the situation crystal clear, to learn what he wanted me to learn, to be directed by Him! Mistie came to watch little Jude, I arrived early to pour out my anxieties to God and the interview went well. After all the typical questions, they informed me that the position would be an hour away from our house and that leaving at 5:00 PM daily was not going to happen. Needless to say, I didn't take the job. This job offered amazing compensation, full benefits, bonuses, stock sharing, you name it. It offered "everything" that anyone could want! Obviously, the draw to be close to my boys was strong enough to keep me from accepting the position. I praised God the whole way home for sealing in my heart that he doesn't want me to enter the workforce in that way right now. I was so thankful for this clear direction that he provided but I was too scared to say "yes" to photography as a possible business.

I was praying my fears to God saying, 

"But Lord, I don't know any professional photographers in this area! Who am I going to learn from? Who could I shadow? It's impossible!" 

Enter, Jimmy & Erin Purchase.

This is Erin and Jimmy! They have the most precious little girl who isn't pictured here! Blake informed me that he had scheduled a little dinner date with these three at Tijuana Flats here in town last Thursday. I was so excited to meet a young family that had children as we haven't met any in this area yet. Jimmy is a worship leader for a church plant nearby and Blake met him at a collective church plant meeting. Erin and I became instant friends. She is so sweet, energetic, opinionated (which I love), and giving! She is also... a professional photographer! When we discussed our similar interests I was almost in tears. God is so good! Hallelujah! Not only did he provide a new friend that has a child for Jude to play with, but she knows how to take pictures!! I was thinking, "what if she doesn't like me, this is too good to be true!" God made a way and she invited me to come shadow her last weekend. Of course I said YES! I arrived and she had brought me my favorite Starbucks and even a gift card. How sweet is she? She didn't have to do that! After all, I was the one in her way the whole time haha! I hope I can be as encouraging to her as she has been to me. We have only hung out twice but I feel like they will become very close friends in no time. 

It was a pleasure to join her on some mini-sessions at Tree Tops Park in Davie, FL. Davie is only 20-30 minutes away so it was a perfect location. (pictures above) The park was beautiful! There were tall wooded areas, a lake, plenty of sunshine, and picturesque backgrounds everywhere! She was so kind to each of her clients, offering them water, snacks, bug spray, and big hugs! I took note of how she took direction of each session, placing hands here and there and making little faces smile. I also learned a few buttons on my camera that I didn't know how to use before! I have been online studying and I have so many questions but I am enjoying the learning process. I took some pictures of Jude recently with a new technique and I can't wait to show you! 

God is so good. Even when I can't see what He's up to, I can trust that He is who He says He is! I've been studying Nehemiah with some precious women and after reading this passage I had to share it with you! 

Nehemiah 9:16-18, " But they, our ancestors, became arrogant and stiff-necked, and they did not obey your commands. They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them, even when they cast for themselves an image of a calf and said, 'This is your God, who brought you up out of Egypt,' or when they committed awful blasphemies.

I was arrogant, stiff-necked, did not obey God's commands, I refused to listen, failed to remember the miracles and works God had performed in my life, was rebellious, and wanted to return to my sinful and enslaving ways. BUT God! Amen!

He is forgiving, gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, will not desert me. Even if I worship or focus on idols in my life, He is faithful. Praise His name!

Lord, mold me into the woman you want me to be...

Proverbs 31:10-31 Hymn to a Good Wife 

A good woman is hard to find,

    and worth far more than diamonds.

Her husband trusts her without reserve,

    and never has reason to regret it.

Never spiteful, she treats him generously

    all her life long.

She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,

    and enjoys knitting and sewing.

She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places

    and brings back exotic surprises.

She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast

    for her family and organizing her day.

She looks over a field and buys it,

    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.

First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,

    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.

She senses the worth of her work,

    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,

    diligent in homemaking.

She’s quick to assist anyone in need,

    reaches out to help the poor.

She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;

    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.

She makes her own clothing,

    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected

    when he deliberates with the city fathers.

She designs gowns and sells them,

    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.

Her clothes are well-made and elegant,

    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,

    and she always says it kindly.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,

    and keeps them all busy and productive.

Her children respect and bless her;

    her husband joins in with words of praise:

“Many women have done wonderful things,

    but you’ve outclassed them all!”

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.

    The woman to be admired and praised

    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

Give her everything she deserves!

    Festoon her life with praises!