More Herrons, More Manna

I still have a difficult time comprehending that I'm a mom, I'm 27 years old, and I have another baby on the way. Life is so sweet. Days go by so quickly and suddenly I'm an adult or something?! What joy! I treasure being a mom and wife. Of course it's not easy, but it's one of the highest callings on my life. Marriage and having Jude have taught me so much about unconditional love, patience, grace, love, and Jesus. My heart just about explodes when I see his big sleepy faced grin each morning. He wants to hang out with me? I get to snuggle with this little handsome ball of energy all day... and I love it.

Was it time? Blake and I began to pray about having our second child about six months before we started trying. It's a big decision to say the least. Just because we want something doesn't meant it's God's timing. So, we prayed. “Self-will and prayer are both ways of getting things done. At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image, but at the center of prayer is God, carving me in his Son's image.” ― Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life

Though God had abundantly provided financially for us with Blake's job at Lowe's, we were faced with a potentially huge budget change. Our income which is/was provided by various supporters of our church, spontaneous giving, tithes, and sweet little ladies like Betty June, was possibly going to end. We knew that our pastor would do what he could to take care of us, he works two full-time jobs too, but we were worried. We thought we'd be moving to a much smaller home, eating beans and rice, (which by the way are awesome, especially Cuban style) and barely surviving. The cost of living down here is astronomical! In fact, we did the research and it's about $20,00 more a year to live here than it was back home in good ol' Tennessee. I can't talk about Tennessee too much or I'll cry. Yes, I cry all the time now. However, the cost of living in Tennessee is like 19% percent lower than the US average, and it ranks among the five most affordable states to live in the entire country... South Florida is one of the worst!!! It's awfully sunny down here though. It's home for now. :)

So, we doubted. Then we prayed for God to silence our worry and fear. We prayed that He would guide our steps. We prayed that He would help us be obedient, diligent, and responsible. Did I need to get a full-time job? I looked. Blake certainly couldn't handle more than his two full-time positions. We had seen God moving in huge ways with Blake's relationships at work, I felt a peace about my calling to stay home and be available to our community and church, so we thanked God for this season and kept our eyes open. Maybe I'd just breast feed this next baby for like four years... (smack my face) no, that can't be the answer! Haha! We had hope. We prayed for patience. I couponed/coupon still. Jude got a job... just kidding. We waited.

God answered our prayers in such a mighty, unexpected, only God-sized way. Instead of our budget changing dramatically, it only changed by a couple hundred dollars. The faithful (I can't tell you the organization's names or I would) supporters who were supposed to suspend their financial contributions decided to continue giving!!!!! Tears. I can't explain to you the joy that filled my body, heart, mind, and soul when I heard this news. This meant that we could try for a second child, I could continue to watch children in our home, and that we were given daily manna by a great God. Sometimes God allows us to struggle so we see more of Him. He's so good. In the midst of this struggle, God led me to this John Piper devotional: (Go get this man's devo app)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

God’s mercies are new every morning because each day only has enough mercy in it for that day.

This is why we tend to despair when we think that we may have to bear tomorrow’s load on today’s resources. God wants us to know: We won’t. Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles. Tomorrow’s mercies are for tomorrow’s troubles.

Sometimes we wonder if we will have the mercy to stand in terrible testing. Yes, we will. Peter says, “If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you” (1 Peter 4:14). When the reviling comes the Spirit of glory comes. It happened for Stephen as he was being stoned. It will happen for you. When the Spirit and the glory are needed they will come.

The manna in the wilderness was given one day at a time. There was no storing up. That is the way we must depend on God’s mercy. You do not receive today the strength to bear tomorrow’s burdens. You are given mercies today for today’s troubles.

Tomorrow the mercies will be new. “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:9).

AMEN?!?!?!

Why are we so much like those silly Israelites?! Why do we doubt God's goodness? He cares so deeply for us and I'm so grateful that His grace abounds even when I'm doubting, messy, and distracted with my sin. Even if He didn't provide financially, we would be ok because His love never fails. He still has a plan for us when we can't see it.

So, little baby... we are ready for you. Just don't come out yet. I couldn't wait to be pregnant again and welcome a new bundle of joy into the world! Since I had a C-section we thought it'd be best to follow doctor's orders and wait two years. Plus, a two year gap gives us ample time to enjoy mister Jude and allows him to be close to his new sibling one day! We are so thankful that God's timing matched with our desires! This doesn't happen often haha!

When it was time for me to give Blake the news of our second child, I had it all planned out. I purchased a "big brother" shirt for Jude to wear so that when daddy got home, he would see the news. Jude runs to greet Blake down our long front hallway each day so I thought it would work perfectly. They greeted each other as usual, except Blake didn't seem to notice the special shirt. I couldn't wipe the grins off my face. What to do!? I quickly asked Blake if he liked the new shirt Jude was wearing and he said nonchalantly answered, "yes." Fail! On to the next attempt. Jude had crawled up on Blake's lap to read some books so I had to be patient as each book was dabbled through. COME ON! Finally, Jude needed a diaper change. Blake asked me to change it and I had to tell him no, haha! He was so confused as to why I wouldn't do it. He doesn't mind changing diapers but having insisted that he do it, he was confused. After all of thirty minutes he finally gasped. He read Jude's shirt out loud, hugged our sweet little boy, hugged me, and we all shared a special moment together. Our family was changing! :)

We are itching to find out what's cooking on Friday! In just a few days we'll know if Jude is going to have a brother or sister. I'm so ready to get that nursery in order. Of course, a healthy baby is more than we could hope for. It would be so special for Jude to have a brotherly bond or a sweet little sister to take care of. It's easy for me to gravitate towards pink, bows, and flowery patterns but I know that ultimately, God has a perfect plan for our little family that is beyond what I could ever expect. That's the truth. I have to remind myself of truth. He knows what's best and what will give him the most glory. We trust him. With Jude, I dreamed that he was a boy multiple times so I felt like I knew before they told us. I've only had one dream about this new baby and I was giving birth to a girl. So, we'll see if my visions are prophetic or not. Haha!

Blake loves his newfound role as dad. He really does invest in our son, give as much time as he can to Jude, and volunteers to help with the day to day tasks of diapers, trash, messy floors, hugs, tower building, spilled milk, all topped by Jude's crummy kisses and bear hugs. I love watching him be Jude's dad and the father of our family. He's my best friend and Jude's best wrestling partner. I know that having two children will be much more difficult than one, but with our gracious Father and Blake on my side, I'll be just fine. Better than fine. Not to mention our incredibly supportive family and close friends! We are always overwhelmed by the love and encouragement surrounding us. Plus, I've been keeping multiple children this year so I have a slight taste of the chaos.

I try to keep a good attitude. See, nothing that I endure will ever, EVER, be as bad as what Jesus endured on the cross. Nothing. Therefore, I can't complain. I may deliver a healthy baby, I may not. Either way, God is in control. Sure, there are days where I'm sure that breastfeeding, a crying newborn, an opinionated and energetic toddler ( he thankfully hasn't learned to say "no" yet), and lack of sleep will all spontaneously cause me to have a mental breakdown and yell at the nearest object. However, mixed in the chaos are bits and usually chunks of good. I've gotta keep my eyes open. God reminds me that a little bit of thankfulness goes a long way. I have a child to drive me crazy and to hold, that's a blessing. I live in America for goodness sakes where there are twelve gadgets to help me breastfeed, brush my hair, and make the perfect cupcake. I caught myself complaining one day about a broken diaper (that I paid for with my own money...) and then I paused. First, I have diapers. Most other babies in the world would love to wear a diaper. Second, I live in America which means I likely have more money than 99% of the world. Insane blessings. Insane. Insane amounts of undeserved comfort. Yes, there are real struggles, pains, and messes that we face. Yet, there is even more abundant grace, love, and joy in Jesus. So thankful for daily manna from heaven.

Hurry up Friday!!!!!